Sex... love... uh oh's

Last Day

Hey guys, I didn't want you to think I'm mad or offended or anything else like that about this Patterson stuff. It's my last day here at work so I'm trying to tie up a lot of loose ends, and be sure to get out of here at a decent time so I can go home and finish up everything there. I'll post as soon as I can. Hope you all have a safe and Happy Halloween!

posted by EIizabeth @ 1:42 PM 1 Comments

Q & A

In light of Jamie's post, here are my answers...

What is your plan? I don't have one right now. To be honest, right now (as in this weekend), I'm not thinking about him or our relationship. I'm concentrating on getting my apartment packed, cleaned, and getting to San Jose. Anything else is not getting dealt with until I'm settled over there.
Do you have anything figured out with this Patty issue? Nothing set in stone, no. One minute I want to drop him on his ass with no mercy and hope he breaks his tailbone, but the next I want to talk to him and be like WAKE UP! don't throw a good thing away on a fuckin video game!
Where is this going? I had really high hopes on where this was going, I really did. Now, I really don't know.
Why do you continue this sharade? I continue it because I do genuinely care about him, and I know he cares about me. But, all jokes aside, (and i'm not making excuses for him), he has a serious addiction for this game. Like a drug. I think though, that once he starts his job, and has to be out in the world again, things will change once he starts spending more time away from it.
This is benefiting you how? Right now? It's not benefiting me at all.
Is it just because tubby over there is pretty good in bed? No, that's not the only reason. I can't say it's not a piece of it, but it's not the entire reason.
Does this situation help to fullfil your life in some way? That's the thing, in the beginning, it did. And I guess I'm afraid to let that go, even though the reality is it's prettu much gone. I want it back!
Where do you see the future of this? I have no idea.

posted by EIizabeth @ 8:34 AM 4 Comments

Day of the Exes

I don't know how much more weird this day could possibly be. You all know how fed up I am with Patterson, his addiction to Everqueer, and his excuses why he can't come see me when reality it's really because he can't pull himself away from his stupid game. This is no news to you guys. So, yesterday he called me in the afternoon, I told him how I had just once again lost the battle with my stomach to keep my lunch down, of course I really didn't get much of a reaction out of him, much like the rest of the past week I've been sick. He says he has to go help his Grandpa, but he'll call me right back. Riiiiiiiiiight. So, I decided I wouldn't call him, and as long as he didn't call me is as long as we wouldn't talk. Well, tonight at 7pm he calls me. A day and a half later. He was like "Hi babe!" All happy, which just pissed me off even more, so I decided to go into bitch mode, just because I can. He expects me to be so excited to hear from him just because he decides to pick up the phone. So he says he has good and bad news, he can't come this weekend, but it's because he got the job he interviewed for and has to work Friday and Saturday. I wasn't disappointed in the least, because I never expected him to come. He expected a big Congratulations, which he didn't get from me. He said since I won't have a job right away, he thought maybe I could go to see him again. Yeah fuckin right. Don't underestimate my "bitch mode", it is nothing to fuck with. While we're on the phone, I had about 20% of his attention, he talked to his family about 30%, and played Everqueer about 50%. I get irritated with just listening to his clicking of the keyboard and hang up on him. Which I thought was pretty funny once I did it. He calls me back a half fuckin hour later and never said a word about it. He told me I'm more than welcome to share his storage unit with him so I don't have to get one, that he has plenty of room in his. Then he starts saying how once he gets settled in his job he's going to get his own apartment, and thought that if I wasn't happy in San Jose, or can't find work very easily, if I'd like to move in with him. Ok, whoa whoa whoa, wait... WHAT?!?!?! What the FUCK did you just say? I didn't even respond. Shortly after that Mama's Boy calls on the other line. Mama's Boy is my ex boyfriend of 2 years from New Mexico, who is trying in every way possible to get back together. So, I tell Patterson I have another call, that I would call him back *wink wink* and get off the phone. Mama's Boy didn't really have anything new to say, same old stuff about trying to get back together. He tells me "You know neither of us is going to be happy until we're back together. I want the whole package with you, marriage, kids, growing old and sitting in rocking chairs in 50 years, all that." Nothing I haven't heard from him before. Then! When I'm on the line with him, Marine calls! However, I didn't know it was him because he had a new number, so I click over and he sounded just like FBI! It went something like this:
Marine: "Elizabeth?"
Me: "FBI?"
Marine: "What? No. Do you know who this is?"
Me: "Of course I do... Marine! How are you?"
Marine: "I'm good thanks! I was just thinkin about you."

So the conversation picked up from there and it was really good. We only talked for like 10 minutes, but it was nice. He found out I'm moving to San Jose from a mutual friend and said he hoped we could hang out. Hmmmm... weird. He said he would call me next week to see how everything was going, and maybe hang out or do something. I'm not sure what that was all about. Just a few minutes ago, Patterson called again but I didn't answer it so he left a message saying how he's thinking of me and was really hoping to talk to me. He said he misses me so much, and wants to see me so bad that he considered saying fuck the job and coming up here this weekend, but he really needs the job so he can't do that, but he knows he'll see me soon somehow, and he loves me very much. Blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Nitey night.

posted by EIizabeth @ 11:43 PM 4 Comments

Last leg

That's exactly what my relationship with Patterson is, on it's last fuckin leg. He's like 0 for 10 when it comes to being there for me when I need him. I asked if he's coming this weekend to help me move, actually I said "If you get your new job schedule, and you don't work this weekend, are you coming down to help me move?" He goes "We'll see. My eye really hurt, I might have pink eye, so I might have to go to the Doctor." I told him ummm today is Tuesday, I'm not asking you to come until Friday. Pink eye lasts 24 hours. He was like "I know, like I said, we'll see." I told him "I know what that means. It means no, you're not coming, but you'll see how many more lame ass excuses you can come up with." Ever since I've been sick, which has been since last Friday... so 6 days already, he's hardly called and his idea of support is saying "Have you eaten? You need to eat! Either eat or go to the Doctor." Ok, first of all are you deaf or just retarded? I can't keep anything down! Then, he thinks he's fulfilling his responsibilities as a boyfriend by saying "I miss you." and "I want to see you." Both of which are bullshit to me, because if they were true, he'd be here with me. NOTHING is holding him back. This Everquest thing has gotten to be beyond rediculous. On Monday night he admitted to me that he played it for 10 hours straight, which is pretty much an every day occurance because he really doesn't do anything else. And when he's not actually playing it, he's posting on message boards and having "online meetings" with his Everquest "friends" about how to improve the guild. IS HE FUCKING KIDDING ME??? I was like and you wonder why your eyes hurt? Are you kidding? He swears that isn't it. If he doesn't have to work this weekend, and he still doesn't come, it's over. I really can't handle this anymore.

Hazel, I'm still relying on the stress theory. That this will all go away after I'm moved and all this stress is gone, which obviously Patterson is only contributing to. I'm due for my monthly bill really any day now, I'm not quite late yet, so we'll see. Don't think that's it though. I think it's stress.

Anna, the Dots therapy is tempting, but with my luck they'd stick to my esophogus on the way up and I'd suffocate to death. haha! That would be just my luck.

posted by EIizabeth @ 3:56 PM 10 Comments

Loss for words

I'm so tired, and dehydrated, and frustrated with being sick that I'm pretty much at a loss for words. I kept saltines and gatorade down yesterday, today, not so much. Still haven't packed because I've been sick. Like I said, don't really have much to say, but I wanted to check in.

posted by EIizabeth @ 2:43 PM 5 Comments

Another Monday

It's just another Monday, although, it is a better Monday than most because it's my last one at this piss poor job. Only 4 days to go! Woo Hoo!!! I'm not going to assume, or even begin to worry that this stomach bug I have is any more than just that, or stress (Jamie). Which is very possible given that I am under quite a bit of it with moving and stuff. Today started off good, until I went to lunch with a co-worker and tossed up my club sandwich. Son of a...! My stomach was like yeah right, jackass! Nice try! Oh well, I get an A for effort. Other than that I feel fine, there's no other flu symptoms or anything, so I'm going to go with the stress theory and just try to relax and not worry about anything. One thing I think I'm going to do... shhhh don't tell anyone... is go buy a gameboy advance and buy The Sims to play on it. I have the Sims on my computer and I was a total junkie, ok, not quite like Patterson to Everquest, but I do love playing it. So I figured getting that would be a fun thing for me to sit somewhere comfortable, relax and play to get my mind of everything else going on. It probably isn't the best time for me to be spending $100, but it will make me feel better, so I'm doin it. Ok, back to work... see ya!

posted by EIizabeth @ 2:37 PM 8 Comments

Still Sick

I don't know what I have, but I'm over it. Not over it as in, I'm feeling better, but over it as in I'm ready for it to be gone. This sucks! I can't eat or drink anything. So, I've been sitting here for the last 2 days watching a lot of TV and sleeping a lot. I didn't get any packing done this weekend which means I have to do it all after work this week. I hardly talked to Patterson at all this weekend. He called tonight and said he when he gets paid this week he's going to take his car to get fixed, then get his work schedule and if he doesn't work he'll come up here. I told him I won't hold my breath. He was like "why do you say that?" He's not the sharpest pencil in the box (there's a new one for you Anna). I told him that I don't feel well and don't want to get into it, so just drop it. Well, it's cold over here, so I'm going back to my cozy couch. Buenos noches!

posted by EIizabeth @ 7:23 PM 2 Comments