Just Wondering
Why hasn't a single person answered my poll question? Very interesting. This is a first. Is it too much of a touchy subject? Hmmm...Pretty boring weekend. Just stayed home, slept, and watched lots of movies. Oh, I went to the movies and saw Open Water. It was horrible! I'm very sad that I wasted an hour and a half of my weekend on it that I'll never get back. Anyway... Cuddle Bitch kept hinting all weekend that he wanted to come over, but I just really didn't want him to. I hate being the teacher. Patterson is going to come up next weekend. I'm excited to meet him finally, but have some kind of weird thoughts about it. I think it will be good, but we'll see I guess. Next weekend I also have a good friend of mine, who is bringing a friend of hers coming to stay with me because they have a wedding to go to here in town. I'm really excited to see her. She just got engaged, and her birthday is at the beginning of September so I got her this book for her birthday. She's from India and is having a very traditional Hindu ceremony. Can I tell you how hard it is to find a Hindu wedding book? Very hard! Well, I think that's about it for now. Time for my 4th nap of the weekend ; )
Ok, it's now 11:38pm and I'm homesick! I moved 1300 miles from home about a year and a half ago, and overall I really haven't had a hard time adjusting at all. But sometimes I have some pretty rough days. Well, tonight is one of them. Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you the truth. I talked to Mama's Boy tonight. A few weeks ago, when he got engaged again to his girlfriend he rubbed it in my face, and said that he's taking himself out of my life and that we can't be friends. I was like Ok, bye. I took his number out of my phone and moved on, it really didn't bother me at all. Well, just like I KNEW he would, he called me like a week ago and said that his girlfriend/fiance, left him... again. He actually called me on the day that she did it. I was a real bitch to him at first and was like you know what? Fuck you! You can't play these fuckin games with me anymore. Don't say shit unless you mean it! I was pissed that he thinks he can just waltz in and out of my life as he pleases, BUT yet I'm the one that lets him do it. UGH! It's so frustrating! Why do I let this happen??? He was my longest and most serious relationship yet, unfortunately I still do love him, as much as I don't want to, and deny it to him, I really do love him. I know he lies, and I know he cheated on me, he isn't responsible, he keeps getting little dead end jobs, he lets his mom raise his daughter. I think what it is is that he knows me better than most people, he knows what I want to hear, and he says it. I always put my gameface on when I talk to him, but then who am I thinking of the rest of the night? That's right, him. I think it just feels good to hear certain things from him because I wanted him to say them for so long, and now he's saying them and it's nice to hear. I want to hug him and punch him all at the same time! UGH!!!! Ok, well I'm going to watch Cheaters and go to bed. G'night.
