Sex... love... uh oh's

I need a drink!

Or some more of that sex with FBI from last weekend. Yum! This week has pretty much been a train wreck! Tuesday night Cop asks me if when his wife is around if I won't talk to him, or even acknowledge him, and he'll do the same to me. He said we'll just have to act like we hate eachother. This is because she gets really upset when she sees us getting along. I was speechless when he said this, I got SO fuckin pissed! I got up, walked out of the apartment, slammed the door and just started crying outside. He asked me to come back inside so we could talk, I told him that I can't live like that, and if that's the way it's going to be I'm leaving. He said that's not even an option. So we got to talking about his wife and he said that her friendship with me is fake because she just turns around and talks shit behind my back. I was like OH HELL NO! So, I let a couple of her cats out of the bag and told him some shit she asked me not to. So the next day they were fighting all day, and he told her everything I told him, and he said they need space and he doesn't want her coming to out apartment anymore. Yay! SOOOOO... OF COURSE, she starts blowing my phone up, leaving me voice mails saying thanks for destroying their family, and their kids can me to thank for taking their dad away from them, blah blah blah. This bitch is crazy, she called 48 times that night! I finally answered and told her to shove her voice mails up her ass. If I wanted to break up their family so bad why would i volunteer to babysit so they can go on dates, and to counseling? Why would I leave my own home on the weekends so they can have the apartment to themselves? Why would I help pay his bills, and buy groceries for their fuckin family??? I also admitted to telling Cop everything because he told me how 2 faced she is, and how much shit she talks behind my back. Of course, she denied everything, said he's a liar and said he's the one that talks all the shit about me. She started saying some of the things that he supposedly says, and I started to believe her because there's no way she could've made some of it up. So I'm like wow! This is my so called best friend saying this shit about me. I'm sitting there crying my eyes out on the phone with her telling her I'm tired of both of their head games, and I need to leave and get out of the situation. Then she started acting hella nice telling me that he's my best friend and he does care about me, and that I can't leave. Now, the ONLY reason both of them are so adamant about me staying is because he can not survive financially without me. There is no possible way he can afford to live on his own right now. He can't even pay his 1/2 of the rent and utilities! I pay the fuckin utilities! He also has nowhere to go, so if I leave, he's fucked. Which right now sounds pretty good considering how much I've done for him, and what I've found out he's saying about me. I told her I don't give a fuck what happens to him, he should've thought about that before he opened his mouth. This whole conversation she's telling me how she doesn't need him, and she's ready to finish off the divorce, and move on. So we finally get off the phone at like 1am, I go to sleep. Then, from 3-3:30am my phone is ringing non stop, I pick it up and it's her, crying. She said that Cop had turned his phone off that's why she keeps calling me, then she starts asking me why I would do this to their family, and the least I could do is tell him he's making a mistake and to let her stay at our apartment. I told her I don't owe either of them shit, that she needs to get some sleep, and I hung up. The next morning Cop asks me why I'm dragging ass and I told him that because he turned his phone off, his psycho fuckin wife wouldn't stop calling me all night. He had nothing to say to that. Yesterday I called Cop's mom and we had lunch together. I told her everything, and asked her advice. She said I need to tell both of them that I don't want anything to do with their marriage and not to ever talk to me about eachother again, to keep me out of it. So yesterday I told Cop's wife exactly that. She said ok. I haven't talked to Cop yet, not a word. I don't even want to face him. The things that she told me he said about me are so fucked up. So yesterday I got home, went straight to bed at 5:30, and woke up this morning at 7am. Tonight I'm going out for lots and lots of drinks with my old roommate, and going to the bay area for more drinking this weekend. I guess I'll decide what I need to do about the living situation next week when I sober up.

posted by EIizabeth @ 2:00 PM 0 Comments

Day 19

Oooooooooooh what a great weekend! I went to San Jose to spend the weekend with my brothers. Well, on Sunday, FBI shows up at my brother's house because my brother invited him to go to my cousin's bbq with us. =) He and I started hooking up over a year ago. It happened the first time on my 23rd birthday, a VERY drunk 23rd birthday. It was really weird the next morning when we first realized what happened just because he's been a friend of the family since I was born. He's 33. He's also my brother in law's, and my brother's best friend. Anyway, so that's the first time it happened, and it's happened many times since. My brother was a little pissed off about it at first, but he's used to the idea by now and it doesn't seem to bother him anymore. Actually, on Sunday night, when we got back to his house, my brother threw us two pillows and one blanket and goes "here you guys, here's so you can make a bed." I was surprised, and happy that it obviously doesn't bother him anymore. I think he realizes that FBI is a really great guy, and I could definitely do worse. So, anyway, FBI shows up and we go to my cousin's bbq. It was so much fun. He also taught me the "correct" way to stand, and shoot a gun, I'm really starting to get into shooting so that was awesome. The reason I'm so attracted to him, besides the fact that he's hot, AND in the FBI is because he is the biggest gentleman I've ever met in my life. I LOVE that! There is nothing in the world better than a true gentleman. When he's around, I never have to lift a finger, or ask for anything, because he takes such good care of me. He's always asking if I want a drink, if I'm hungry, if I'm comfortable, if I'm hot or cold. When we were driving home Sunday night he let me sleep on his lap and he just ran his fingers through my hair, and rubbed my back. That night, of course, we had lots of sex, (it was great this time!) ;) and it was really cold, so he held me all night and kept asking if I was warm enough. We woke up at like 7am, had some more sex, cuddled some more, then he had to leave to put new flooring in at his house. So, here comes the hard part... this occasional hook up is great and all, but every time I see him I like him even more (if that's possible). He got divorced about a year and a half ago, and really isn't looking for a relationship at all. Ugh! Why do feelings always have to get in the way??? Ok, so, We talk on the phone occasionally, so I've been thinking about calling him and asking him to go to that wedding with me at the end of the month, but I'm scared to. I don't know why, I'm sure he'd say yes, but I'm just nervous. I'd like him to go with me mostly because he's so fun to be with, he's friendly to everyone, he loves to dance, he's just great. And second, wouldn't it be funny to see marine's face if I brought Mr. HOT FBI??? ;) Now I just need to grow some balls and ask him!

posted by EIizabeth @ 8:55 AM 0 Comments