Sex... love... uh oh's

Catching Up

Ok, so it has been a long long time since my last post. Let's bring you up to speed... My Love and I moved in to an apartment together in Feb. 2007, found out I was pregnant in June 2007, he freaked out, I had a successful pregnancy and our baby was born in March 2008. We outgrew the apt and bought a house In March 2009. No proposal, no marriage plans, just taking things day to day. We've had more than our share of drama with his family, er, his mom. She's not my biggest fan I don't think. According to her, EVERYTHING is about her, and I do mean EVERYTHING. She makes My Love feel guilty every time they talk, about not living closer to her, and not including her in everything we do. I'm trying to make this re-cap as brief as possible, but I do have to share a conversation she and I had after she called My Love crying after Baby's birthday party because she hacked into my photo sharing website and saw that I didn't have any pictures of her from Baby's 1st birthday party. So, because she wasn't in any pictures from the party that she was never meant to see anyway (she had pictures that were taken with her own camera), she called him crying hysterically saying that she's losing them (meaning My Love and Baby, excluding me because she's made it very clear I'm not part of HER family), and when My Love told her she's not losing him and that we (meaning he and I) are doing everything we can to include her in our lives, she said "I don't care about her! I care about you and Baby!" What she doesn't realize is that those two are MY family now, and she needs to learn to deal with that. So, My Love gets extremely upset after that phone call, screams at me in my face leaves and slams the front door so hard that the wall-mounted stereo in Baby's room fell off the wall and broke. I called her to ask her what she told him to upset him so bad, and she said she didn't care if he got upset, it's time she told him that she's always left out, and how my family is so horrible and how mean they are to her, and how they "treat her like a dog" NONE of which is true. She tried to give me examples of things my family said or did to her at Baby's party that I knew were flat out lies because I witnessed those situations with my own eyes at the party, and what she said is NOT what happened, but of course My Love doesn't want to hear and doesn't care about anything I have to say regarding his Mom, I can't even mention his Mom to him unless I'm going to tell him she smells like roses. She told me in the phone conversation "You are driving my son and I apart! Before you came along it was just me and him!" Um, then your son grew up, moved to a city with more opportunity, found a girlfriend who he loves and loves him back, started a family together, and bought a beautiful house together! But you can't be proud of him for any of that, you just focus on YOU YOU YOU! Well guess what! I HATE YOU! You are a selfish fucking bitch and I can't stand to even think of you, much less the sight of you! You make me sick! You are an energy sucker, and the biggest downer I have ever known! It is not My Love's fault that you had an affair with a married man and conceived My Love because of it, nor does he owe you anything for raising him! It is NOT My Love's fault that his sister is an alcoholic and that you are "stuck" (as you say) taking care of her! It is not his fault that you are single, and will most likely never have a boyfriend again! None of YOUR problems are his fault, and he does not OWE YOU anything!!! Listen to yourself the next time you call him with one of your guilt trips and hear what a selfish, low-life, no good mother you are! Listen to how hurt he is when you lay all your guilt on him and make him feel like he never does enough for you! Or better yet, why don't you spend a day in my shoes. Why don't you come here and get screamed at for something that you have nothing to do with, but he will take all his anger sadness and frustration out on you because he's too afraid to tell his mother how he really feels! Come get a silent treatment from him. Come watch him slam the door and leave, not telling you where he's going or when he'll come back because his mother upset him so much, and now you and Baby have to pay for it! But I will never be able to say word to him about how I feel or how you are hurting our family, because his loyalty is completely with you, instead of with me where it should be. So, I just shut up and hold it all in with a smile on my face, and rub his back and take the emotional and verbal abuse he dishes out because you upset him! You are ruining all of our lives you stupid horrible miserable bitch! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! By the way, did you like your birthday present? I am the one who remembered your birthday, not your son. I am the one that thought of your gift, not your son. I am the one who bought your gift. NOT YOUR SON! How about the Mother's Day card I mailed to you, to tell you what a wonderful Grandma you are? Guess who thought of it, bought it, signed it with Love, and mailed it? NOT YOUR SON! Who called you on Mother's Day so you can talk to your grand baby? Not your son! That's right you ungrateful bitch. It was all ME! But just so you know, I don't do it for you, I do it for YOUR SON! I do it for MY FAMILY!

Ok, wow, I didn't expect all of that to come out, but it's on my mind all day every day. I am on anxiety meds because of the stress I have from My Love's mom, and they aren't even working. I don't know what to do. I really don't know what to do. She wants him to take Baby and go up to visit this week on his days off, but I don't want him to go without me because God only knows what lies she will put in his head about me, so I'm just going to tell him I will work overtime early in the week to make up the hours and take the day off so I can go with them. We'll see what he says.

posted by EIizabeth @ 9:20 PM