Sex... love... uh oh's

Probation period

I talk to my best friend at least once a week. We'll call her Phoenix, for obvious reasons. Although, she's moving to Chicago in August, so it won't be a fitting name for long. Anyway, we've been best friends since we were 7, and we tell eachother everything. So, she was telling me about this new guy she's seeing, and how they had sex on Friday night but that it was horrible, and she thinks they need to have sex a few more times so she can see if he's really bad or if it was bad because it was that "awkward first time". We were laughing pretty hard about that. Then she asked what I've been up to this week and I told her about Mama's Boy and everything that happened with him. She definitely wasn't surprised. I told her that I don't know what to do about him, and she suggested I give him another chance, but put him on a probation period. So, for like the next 2-3 months I'll date him but not put my whole heart into it. I'll leave somewhat of a wall up until I know if he's really changed, or if he's full of shit and still the same guy that gave me the most unstable 2 years of my life. I actually think that's a very good idea, this probation period thing. I'll give him another chance, but with my guard up so I don't get hurt. If over the next few months I realize he's still the same jackass, I will not have gotten hurt, or lost anything, but I'll finally get closure to this 5 year mess. Now, on the other hand, if he has changed, and he truly is the man he says he's become, then that's great. I guess we'll see. In the meantime, I'm definitely keeping my other options open ; )

posted by EIizabeth @ 9:43 PM 2 Comments

Sucker!

Yes, that's me. A big freakin sucker! Today I got up at like 11am, and was getting ready to go take the forms in to register to be a cheer coach, when Mama's Boy texted me and said I should go hang out with him at his house. Once I took care of the coaching stuff I was bored, so I went over. I figured, what the hell, I'll go for a little bit, no big deal. Well, once I got there it was like a time machine, being at his house, talking to his family, seeing his daughter... all the good memories of when we were together came back. So, I ended up staying there from 1-8pm. I finally told him I'm going to leave and he says he wants to take me to see Amityville Horror. I've been wanting to see that movie for weeks and nobody would go with me because I jump to much in scary movies. So, I said ok. I went home and he picked me up at like 9:30, we saw the movie (and yes, I jumped like a mexican jumping bean), then he was dropping me off and I asked him if he wanted to come in for a little bit. Sex was NOT, I repeat, NOT my intention. My intention was to watch TV for a little while so I could get the scary movie out of my head and not have bad dreams. Well, we come in, start watching TV, we were laying down and he put his arm around me and started rubbing my back and playing with my hair. Sure enough, that gets me every time. So, I'm laying there enjoying it thoroughly when he pulls me up to kiss him. It was nice, very, very, nice. He's always been a good kisser. We kissed for a little while, then one thing lead to another, and we're having sex. Really good sex. It was SO great to have good sex, I haven't had any actual GOOD sex since... well... I don't know, but it's been months, several months. It was with Patterson actually. Anyway, so I'm making the "O" face and loving it, then he gets his turn, and we both just want to pass out after that. We laid there for a little bit and watched some more TV, then I walked him out, and we kissed good bye. He asked what I'm doing tomorrow, and asked me to call him. I'm sure I will. Why? Because he suckered me right back in. I totally feel like I felt when we first got together 5 years ago. The voice that would normally tell me to stay away from him has duct tape on her mouth. My family would give me so much shit if they found out I was seeing him again, not one of them would support it. It's not that he's a bad guy, because he's not. He's just immature, really immature, and really needs to grow up and get his shit together. But, there's something about him that I saw again today that makes me goo-goo eyed. I really don't get it, and I have no idea what to do.

posted by EIizabeth @ 2:24 AM 1 Comments