Sex... love... uh oh's

Bad mood

I don't really have a way to describe this week, it hasn't really been a good one... but for no particular reason really. I think maybe I’m just kind of going through all the emotions of moving. I’ve been pretty depressed the last few days, stressed out, irritated… I thought, I mean, I know this move is the right thing to do, and I am glad I’m doing it, but at the same time I’m really sad to go. You all know I’m the 4th of 5 kids in my family, and being that I’m close to being the baby… they still treat me that way. That was part of the reason I moved away from my whole family in the first place. To show them, look! I’m a freakin adult! Every single person in my family doubted me and placed bets on how long I could last on my own. Well, I proved them wrong. Nobody ever thought I would last 2 years out here by myself. My brothers are still protective as ever, telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing out here, where I should live, where I should work, who I should not date. I’m used to that though, I just smile and nod, then come home and live my life. But now, I’m moving to San Jose, near them. Part of me is SO excited to have them around again because I really couldn’t ask for better “big” brothers, but the other part of me doesn’t want to lose that feeling of independence I have out here away from them. I’m sure gonna miss that. I’m also worried about my mom. She’s separating from her boyfriend, and she doesn’t have anywhere to go. So she’s staying with some random “friend”. She was in a car accident this week too, so now she has a busted ass car, no money, no place to live… all because this low-life, con-artist, bastard, wanker, shmuck decided to convince her she needs to leave my dad so she could support him, and they could live happily ever after. Almost 3 years later, she has nothing. That’s just fuckin great. My mom is a good woman, a little crazy at times, but a good woman. She’s never touched drugs, doesn’t drink much, she’s an R.N. Her biggest fault is that she has too big of a heart, and trusts people too easily. She’s 54 years old and very naïve, which made it very easy for this cock sucker to take advantage of her. I would love nothing more than to beat the piss out of him, the kind of beating where his mom couldn’t identify him. I don’t feel like posting much more on this… but you get the idea.

Cop and his wife are coming over this weekend with the babies so we can BBQ before I move. I’m so excited to see them, but sad too. He’s another thing I have total mixed emotions about. We’ve been best friends for 8 years, everything really couldn’t have been better between us right up until like March of this year. He and his wife got back together when he was living with me (platonically), and our friendship crumbled into the fiery pits of hell. We had a huge falling out, he moved out, and we both had a silent agreement that we were never going to speak again. I’m a stubborn Taurus, so as much as it hurt, I wouldn’t call him if my life depended on it. Then one day he called crying, apologizing, and saying how much he loves and misses me. He even said “That was the hardest break up I’ve ever had. Even worse than the ones with my wife!” So, we squashed everything, and our friendship is back to normal again. Now I’m moving, and probably won’t see him more than a couple times a year, if that. I told him I really want him to meet Patterson so he can tell me what he thinks. He said “I don’t need to meet him, he’s already on my shit list for not going to the hospital that night.” He’s really good at reading people, so I would love for them to meet so he can tell me what he thinks. But, I don’t even know if Patterson can come out here this weekend, he has a job interview today that he thinks he might get, and might have to start this weekend, he also might get to take his 5 year old niece out this weekend. So, I’m not holding my breath for him to come.

Things with Patterson have been pretty good this week. As good as they can be considering the distance. He’s been calling me at least once or twice a day. So I have to give him credit for that. I’ve been so stressed lately, just about everything, and my body doesn’t handle stress well at all. I think I’ve talked about this before. Anyway, when I’m stressed I just don’t have an appetite, and I don’t eat if I’m not hungry. So he’s really been nagging me about eating for the last couple weeks. It’s driving me nuts. He eats like a freakin horse, which was fine when he was in the army when he was exercising every day, but now he’s a couch potato so the 3 burritos he eats for lunch don’t go anywhere but to his waist and ass. I’ve tried to gently hint that he should start getting back into working out, but he’s having no part of it. After seeing his 400lb Uncle this weekend, I got a little scared. I don’t know how to tell him though. He’s gaining fast, and it’s not cute. So anyway, he’s been nagging the hell out of me about how I need to eat more. He tells everybody too. He told his whole family how he has to force feed me to make me eat, he even told the guy at Carl’s Jr. that! I was like are you fuckin KIDDING ME??? He doesn’t by any means have to force feed me, I eat when I’m hungry. Then he even told me “You know when you skip meals, your body stores fat and it just makes you get big.” I felt like saying “Well, it does the same thing when you eat 2 McChickens, 2 double cheeseburgers, and a large order of fries for lunch!” I know he has good intentions, and is only doing this because he cares, and I know I’m being a bitch, but it really irritates me when he tells other people like his family, or the guy at Carl’s Jr. shit like that.

Oh yeah, and work sucks. Only 6 1/2 more days.

Sorry for such a negative post, but that’s pretty much all I’m feeling this week. Things will look up soon, I know it. I just wish I could fast forward to that point in time.

posted by EIizabeth @ 9:18 AM