Explanation
Opaco... You're right, in the beginning, when he was here and giving me all his attention and affection it did bother me... because it scared me. It has always been so easy for me to shut people out. I have always closed my heart, put a wall up and kept everyone on the other side, which made me feel safe because if I didn't let them in, they couldn't hurt me. Then Patterson came along and treated me better than anyone ever has in my life. He was everything I've ever wanted but never had, so I didn't think it existed. When he showed up, I was like oh shit, I think this is someone I can trust and open up to, which means he can hurt me. So I tried to push him away. But he planted his feet, and didn't go anywhere. He knew I had these these issues, and instead of saying fuck this, he stuck around to help me through them. The problem now is that I've begun to open up to him when we're together, then when he leaves there's this distance between us, not just in miles. So it's kind of like... a kid who's mom gives him a lollipop, then slaps him in the face. The kid is like wait... she was just nice to me, now she hit me. So does she love me or hate me? What's she going to do next? Should I go get the lollipop next time she gives it to me, or am I gonna get slapped again? That's the best way I have to describe it. It's not that I didn't like all the attention in the beginning, it's just that nobody has ever given me that kind of attention with good intentions, so it scared me.
9 Comments:
Ok. That's it. I gotta get off this now. I bash Patterson when he does something wrong and then Elizabeth starts pointing out all his good points.
That's it.
I'm done. I shall say no more.
..
really..
.
I'm serious now....
.
.
ok...
I'll be back later.
I pity all of you poor people to follow my blog. Up and down, up and down, love him and hate him, every day is different. But, it actually does help me because I usually only write down my extreme emotions. So I spend a lot of time looking back and when I'm trying to weigh things out, and figure out what I'm doing right or wrong I have these posts to look back on to see exactly how I was feeling at the time. One extreme emotion can often make you forget when you were on the other end of the spectrum, so this is great to have a reminder or exactly how good or how bad I've felt through all of this, and helps me to weigh the good with the bad. I never said I'm not a pain in the ass ; )
Ok..Ok.. lemme get this straight. You love him/you hate him.
Ok. I got it now.
So....
I'll just make a blanket staement.
Fuck Patterson. What a great guy.
There...
intense!
love,
jason mulgrew
internet quasi-celebrity
I'm glad Miss P and I are on the same page on this! ; )
Internet quasi celebrity????
Man..THAT'S a bold statement.
I'll be the judge of that.
Ok. The verdict is in. I have reviewed Jason's site and I declare that it is....(long puase with the Ceasar thumb held sideways for now).......
NOT worthy of any title such as quasi-whatever-the-hell-you-called-yourself.
(cheers of 10,000)
Furthermore. Car thief,eh? Bullshit. No you're not. You're a punk kid who lives with his parents who WANTS to be cool. Thinking that a car thief is cool is another story. A car thief would be seen more along the lines of a fuckin coward who doesn't have the skills,brains or talent to actually do somethig else than be...well...a low life fucking car thief.
After reading a couple lines here and there I found myself thinking "blah.blah.blah.blah" and scrolling downward to find SOMETHING...ANYTHING.. that was even remotely interesting. I had to dump the site after only a few seconds. I had seen enough.
So. In conclusion. This site gets a rating of 1 out of 10. He can type. That's where the 1 comes from. Other than that, I saw nothing original other than a lie about being a car thief. And if he really is a car thief, then I say "go get a real fuckin job and stop buying crack.Loser."
Until next time when someone esle does something crazy like calling themselves quasi-famous around me, This is Jamie signing out. Later.
Yeah. What Opaco said.
(he's always so god damn level headed!)
IF the car thief guy shows here....take the fight to my site. This is a nice place but I know you'll be dying to try your luck against me.
mwhahahahhahahahaa
Much love to everyone.
(except the car thief nerd)
Opaco,
That totally makes sense! It's kind of hard to remember to see things from a guy's point of view, seeing as how i'm a girl. But, having 3 older brothers, I know exactly what you mean. Great advice! Thanks!
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