Sex... love... uh oh's

I'm going to hell

Last night I did something that I'm not exactly proud of. First. He was supposed to call me when he was on his way, so I figured I would wait for his call and tell him that I wasn't feeling well so I was just going to go to bed, and maybe we could catch up during his next trip up here. Well... that plan didn't really work because he decided to surprise me and just showed up. Dammit! So at like 9:00 he comes over and we're sitting on the couch talking, catching up on old times. Then he asks if I have dominoes so we could play like old times. We go to the kitchen table, each get a beer, and play a couple games of dominoes. Then we go back to the living room to watch Sports Center. Before I go any further, I have to tell you how freakin hot he is. I mean, he was hot in high school but god damn has time been good to him. He played college football at ASU so his body is fuckin amazing! Full on 6 pack, perfect arms, chest, and ass. PLUS... my weakness is backwards, fitted, baseball caps. Guess what he walks in wearing? The god damn hat! So, I was really trying to be good. I sat all the way on the other side of the couch. I have a pillow on my lap and I keep the conversation clean. So about a half hour into watching Sports Center, (his phone is on the floor right next to where I'm sitting) he walks over and acts like he's leaning down to pick up his phone and he kisses me. It's all downhill from there. He gives me a back massage, which leads to the bedroom. I think you know where I'm going with this. The bad thing about it is that I really got no enjoyment out of it. The foreplay was like a bad porn (know what I mean Jaime?), he fumbled around all over the place, had no skill, and made the worst attempt at talking dirty I've ever seen. It was just sad. Once we had sex, he lasted no more than a minute and a half. What a shame. I even had the Her Pleasure condom, and it still sucked! This is the guy who lost his virginity to me, and lasted about a minute and a half then. He swore up and down that he's so much more experienced now, and I wouldn't be able to keep up. Riiiiight! So, then he wanted me to take a shower with him. No thanks. I turn on Saturday Night Live and he kept trying to cuddle me. *Sigh* He finally fell asleep and I came out to the living room to watch TV. This morning he tried to get some again but I just wasn't feelin it. So I got up, brushed my teeth and hair and sat down in the chair in my room while he was still on the bed. We talked for a little bit, then he left. I'm glad I got to see him, but I guess some things just never change.

I haven't seen Patterson since last Wednesday. He went to his Aunt's house in the bay area yesterday, and I didn't hear from him once all day or night. So today I started to wonder and called him at like 1pm. He said he went to his Aunt's and went back home this morning and has been playing video games with his Uncle ever since. We talked for about 3-4 minutes but he talked more to his Uncle than me so I got off the phone with him. He said he's going back to his Aunt's next weekend too. Maybe this relationship isn't what I thought it was, which would be good for me, obviously. I talked to him again today and asked when he's going to come over next. He was saying there's a lot of things he has to take care of at home, he's going to his aunts this weekend, his dad wants him to go there, and he needs to go to his mom's in Washington, blah blah blah. So he said after he takes care of what he needs to do at home, he's going to his mom's then he'll come see me. Wait a second, I thought he was going back to his aunt's next weekend? So, the problem is, he's going to stay at his mom's for like 3 weeks. Basically he was saying he'll see me in a month. Fuck that! If that's the case, I'm not gonna sit here and wait for him. By the time he gets back I'll be living in the bay area. He just expects me to revolve my life around his schedule, of things he "needs to do", and seeing people that want to see him. Well that's great, I mean... you gotta do what you gotta do. But I'm not putting my life on hold for it. I have a hard enough time being in a relationship with someone that's around all the time, but if he's gonna say "see you in a month", I'm not making any promises I'm gonna wait around. Maybe I'm just tired and irritated, I don't know.

posted by EIizabeth @ 2:56 PM