Sex... love... uh oh's

Friday

First I want to thank all of you for your advice. It's definitely given me a lot to think about. I told Mama's Boy a couple days ago that I would never be with him again. He wanted to know why I wouldn't at least give him a shot, and swears that he's changed. After I told him no several times, he finally said that he didn't believe it was because I didn't want to be with him, but it was just that I don't want to give up the single life. Which is kind of true, well part of it... I really don't want to be with him, but at the same time it is really difficult giving up the single life. There was a long time there, especially when I was with Mama's Boy that I needed someone, I was very co-dependant. Now I'm the complete opposite. I feel like someone else just gets in my way. I was 22 when Mama's Boy and I broke up after 2 years of being together, he found a 17 year old girlfriend the following week, my parents got divorced at the same time, I had a lot of health problems, I hated my job, had a piece of sh!t car, and I was living with my chain-smoking, depressed, dad and sister in a 2 bedroom apartment. Needless to say I was a mental disaster, and on anti-depressants. The one thing I needed was Mama's Boy to come back and help me through all of this, instead he would call me and tell me all about his new teenage girlfriend. That's when I said ok, time for me to get away from all of this and take care of me. That's when I picked up and moved myself to California... alone. I've built myself back up, and am more independent and now than I've ever been. But, the way I was raised, there's a timeline, and I'm running behind. I'm under a lot of pressure to have a career, buy a house, be married, have a family... so my mind is telling me, ok, which one of these guys can you marry so you can get back on the timeline? But my heart is saying, ummm yeah, it's not time for you to get married, or have a family, you're 24! This is fun time! Jesus, my older sister already has my wedding planned! She told me last weekend "all I need is the groom's name, and you're set!" She was joking of course, but all my family & friends love to drop those little hints. I'm not going to worry about tomorrow though, I'm going to live for today and just take each day as it comes. I'm having fun, and am perfectly content with the way things are right now.
Sorry for the therapy session, I hope this is the end of it. This is not the purpose of this blog. Anyway... I'm not doing sh!t this weekend, I'm sleeping and watching movies. Patterson will be in the bay area for the weekend, so I'm going to enjoy the peace and quiet. I still have to think of an excuse to give to First. It shouldn't be hard.

posted by EIizabeth @ 4:03 PM