Thank you!
I want to thank all of you for your support, and advice. I was telling Matt yesterday that it's crazy how when I feel depressed, it feels like I'm the only person that's ever felt that bad, and nobody could possibly know how I'm feeling. I couldn't be more wrong. All of your comments, advice, and experience really helps a lot. So thank you, again. = )Yesterday I just looked for a job all day, then I decided to pry myself out of the house so I got ready and left. I didn't really know where I was going but I just needed to get out. When I got home my brother was really happy to see that I was out, and asked if I wanted to go shopping with them. It was a lot fun, and I got my other brother (who's birthday is today) his birthday present. We came home at about 10, I played with the dog a little then went to bed. I had a dream last night that my sister in law, me, and random "dream" people took a sailboat to this island at night and decided to do a seance, then my sister in law got posessed, so I got all the crosses I could find on the island (what island has random crosses laying around?), and everybody took one and prayed then we left on the sailboat. Then the sailboat took us in a circle right back to the haunted island. I was like "Son of a...! What's the point of a sailboat if you can't f*ckin control where it goes?" I woke up so scared, it was actually pretty funny.
I talked to my friend "Hawaii" and her fiance "GQ" (the one I talked about in my post about last new year's) last night to tell them when I'd be in town for the holidays. Hawaii goes "uh oh... you're going to be here for new year's? HAHAHAHA!" I told her that I'm not drinking half as much as I did last year, and GQ was like "Not if I have any say in it!" They said they have a party for us to go to this year, but like I said... I'd kind of like to spend it with Mama's boy. I remember the last New Year's Eve we spent together was 2002, and we watched the movie Pearl Harbor with his parents. Hence the name "Mama's Boy". Anyway, we were on one of our breaks at the time, so midnight came along and it was totally awkward because we didn't kiss. It was horrible. We loved eachother so much, but knew we couldn't be together even though it hurt like hell. I went in his room because I didn't want to cry in front of him or his parents, then he came in and hugged me for a long time. After that, I left and went back to my sister's house because she was having a party. By that time, everyone was completely drunk... including fireman. I took some shots with my sister, and ended up hooking up with fireman that night. The next day Mama's Boy called me and said he thinks we should get back together. That lasted another couple months. So here we are, 3 years later wondering the same thing all over again. Ai ai ai!
3 Comments:
Win.
For when you are feeling low:
there are online support groups that you can join (check Yahoo). My husband has a mental illness and we aren't the most active members of the group, but just knowing that there are other people out there who "are like you" does a huge amount of good.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 15. I have never taken medication. I have never been to (good) therapy. I learned on my own how to deal with it. Typically, I don't have too many issues with depression, just a blah day every now and then. Lately, it has been bad. I'm not suicidal (thank God I have kids to live for or I would be), but lately, most days, it's unbearable. Stress is a trigger for me, so the more stress I feel, the more depressed I am.
Geeze, I don't know where I am going with this.
I have a blog of my own. I talk about my depression in a few of my posts. Mostly, I try not to dwell on it. Feel free to read my blog. It might help. I've been old it's funny too. All I can say about that is that I try. I also recommend visiting www.dooce.com. First, her blog is great. Her kid is adorable, her husband is a bit of a hottie and I want their dog. Second, a few months back, she was hospitalized for depression. She has dealt with it for a long time too.
If you need to vent or want advise or whatever, feel free to email me. camandasmom@excite.com.
I haven't read all of your blog, not even half of it. But so far, there are a few experiences that we share. Unfortunately, they all suck. Just know that you aren't alone.
Oh, and I will never tell you to 'cheer up' or 'snap out of it'. If only it were that easy.
Take care. Email if you need to.
I think she's just going thru a rough time.
I don't see a gun yet...know what I mean???
*sigh*
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